http://www.winnipegsun.com/news/canada/2009/05/10/9411096-sun.html
I refer to this article that talks mostly about how online networking habits have changed our way of thinking and how it might even be making children more perceptive by strengthening mental responses. There a small section near the middle that talks about the evolution of the meanings behind relationship and interpersonal communication in this new "Internet generation".
In it, psychiatrist Dr. Himanshu Tyagi presents a view about how the Internet and websites like twitter and facebook, is making the perception of relationships and interpersonal communication something that is not as treasured as in the past. However, a rebuttal argument by one Professor Barry Wellman is that online communication is not deteriorating the idea of relationships but rather, strengthening it and complementing it.
There are many factors as to how such online sites can complement relationship building and interpersonal communication. One such factor, i feel, is the increasing ease of engagement and management of a relationship.
How does communication over the Internet complement the engagement process? There are many factors that affect one's willingness to engage in a interpersonal communication and relationship. The most common one is physical appearance. However, the Internet does away with the need for physical appearance as many users are hidden behind the glamor of an attractive avatar or a beautifully photo shopped image. Not being "hampered" by the requirement of a physical appearance, many people tend to be more open about themselves over the Internet and have no qualms about disclosing more personal stuff, due to the false sense of security one has when staring at a screen as opposed to staring at another person's face. Internet allows one to search out others with similar interests. There are chat rooms and forums for various interest groups ranging from comics to gardening.
Next, the Internet complements the management in that it closes the "proximity" between people. People are more connected nowadays and more frequently stay in touch. They are constantly updated about their friends' status and can start a conversation online at the click of a button. In a way, it might even strengthen weaker relationships
My fear however, comes at the disengagement process. Relationships over the Internet can be disengaged also at the click of a button. And due to the same factors that helped in the engagement process, disengagement gets so easy that it might "de-value" the concept of a relationship and interpersonal communication. Hence, relationships might end up becoming "disposable".
Another fear of mine is the fact that lying is made so much more easier over the Internet. A person can present a false image and personality over the Internet and there are many cases of such unscrupulous people using such Internet sites to bait youngsters.
In summary, the main fear i personally have is that through such online networking sites would tend for the users to favor a more impersonal, quantitative approach to interpersonal communication as opposed to a qualitative one. Online networking sites has their good points but they have their dangers as well. An integration of proper education of online usage with a deeply instilled value of face to face communication in our youth today would be the best way to go.
In this way people will still value a face to face interaction over an online one while utilising the benefits the Internet gives in engaging and maintaining a relationship. Also they would be well aware of the dangers such sites may present.
We are after all, active individuals with the ability to make choices and filter what is good and not good for us. We should be able to make the right choice.
All in all, it comes down to the individual and whether they are able to inter grate the benefits of the Internet without succumbing to the temptations and dangers. The underlying question is "are you wise enough?".
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I believe that the internet is a double edge sword in the context of interpersonal relationships.
ReplyDeleteThe internet does indeed strengthen interpersonal relationships. A simple Windows Live Messenger allows me to talk to you in the middle of the night or during short breaks between lessons. Previously, it would be slightly more inconvenient to meet at 2 in the morning for a chat, or drop by to have a 15 min conversation while you are having your break.
But that is only helpful, as I believe, when there is already an existing relationship between us.
The internet allows more ways, more modes, more methods, and more efficiency in communication and connection. It does not guarantee the quality of the message and the interpersonal bonds it creates.
What does this mean? While to the existing relationship the internet always 'reinforces' the strength of the existing relationship with it's own share of communication, since the words we talk talk online are added to the words we talk when we meet in person. But to forging interpersonal relationships via the internet, the internet has been proven a very 'dubious' method of forging good relations.
Anonymity is a good proponent of such: Anonymity allows one to communicate with another with the intended exclusion of certain characteristics of the individuality- equivalent to a hypothetical scenario of meeting someone behind a mask who calls himself Winnie the Pooh and so heavily covered up you do not know whether he is 26 or 62.
In other words, the internet attenuates the characterization of the character. Bringing forth the issues of superficiality, agenda-driven relationships, and ultimately de-humanization.
And compromising sincerity, honesty, physical closeness, and ontological emotional sympathy.
Indeed, words, pictures and videos on a computer screen are essential to building up interpersonal relationships, but we must know that a true relationship is not purely based on words, linguistic manipulations and conceptual associations. I believe you guys would also know that communication is more than just a play of words, visuals and linguistics...
Ultimately, it depends on the the nature of netizens. After all, you don't need to go online if you want to con some old lady into buying magic carpets.
Most creations were invented with the objective of benefitting mankind. just like the internet, its main use was actually for us to get information and communication with much convenience and ease. but because of the people who takes advantage of the anonymity in this virtual world for the wrong reasons, we have to take things with a pinch of salt, and information-wise, we have to learn to cross reference the information with other sources to verify if the information is correct.
ReplyDeleteIn the real world it took time for us to learn how not to talk to strangers and trust them easily. now we just have to adapt this set of thinking when we turn on the internet, learning to be "street smart", so that we can also survive this relatively new virtual world.
YEs, there is an old saying that technology is amoral. It is not good or evil by what it is or who made it, but only for how it is used. It is ironic that in this day and age, one has to be "Street smart" even when one is not traversing the streets.
ReplyDeleteThankfully, many people still value face to face conversation and relationships.
I think it only strengthens a relationship if you are already in a relationship. It is like how i am already close with my pals and we use online chatting to converse when we are at home, or to make arrangements to meet. It is free, or at least cheaper than a phone call.
ReplyDeleteIt is dangerous only if you are looking to make new relationships over the internet. People can easily feed you false information about themselves. You would not know if the person on the other end is really who claims to be. He could be a totally different person in real life.
Miscommunication would be another danger of online interactions. You can never tell the intentions of the other person over the internet. Nor can you tell what the smiley face he just typed really means. A smile can have many meanings and without other features to complement the meaning of the smile, such meaning is left ambiguous and open to misinterpretation.
ReplyDeleteI can interpret a smile as a sign of friendship or as a sign of mocking. Then again, with the advent of web cameras, that would solve this problem.
Interpersonal communication on the Internet does strenghten relationships. Aside from being highly accessible, there is also greater affection and comfort exchanged in the Internet. Due to our busy day to day schedules, we often are not able to meet up with friends or partners regularly. With the internet, a simple, 'hello' or 'how are you' might show that you care for your friends and partners. Comfort in the form of verbal advise or support can also be readily given. I read an article once where an american women blogged about the journey of caring for her premature 17-mth old son. Constant words of encouragement, hope and support from her virtual friends helped her cope her sons eventual death.
ReplyDeleteI do agree that there are negative effects of pretense in the Internet. However, i feel that the onus in on us,users to be more watchful.
Regarding what you mentioned about interpersonal relationships online, I feel that the way it is percieved depends on the individual. One of the few reasons why some people decide to engage in such relationships is because they have difficulties connecting and relating to people in reality and thus turn to their virtual world to seek comfort and solace. I believe such people would view the bonds they forge online with a relatively high degree of seriousness.
ReplyDeleteSure, disengagement might seem relatively simple, at just a "click of a button". However, that is only like shutting the door on someone. A bond forged, be it virtual or otherwise, is still a bond, and it is inevitable that we would still feel the hurt and pain caused by the dissolvement of our interpersonal relationship.
Also, the usage of terms like "LOL" and "ROFL" in almost every other sentence has made such short forms lose its meaning. Where once you think the person is laughing at something you said or feeling amused, i have found that that is no longer the case. Even in face to face communication, i have talked to people who suddenly go "LOL" in the middle of a conversation with an absolutely straight face. To them, it is merely a natural remark for them to make in response. Perhaps this could be an example of when you cannot really know what the person you are conversing with online is thinking.
Ending an online relationship "with a click" is actually very easy, especially if you've been using a fake name all this time. There are sickos who create false email addresses and online identities just so they can form online relationships. This makes it easier for them to terminate such relationships with little regard for how the other party feels. Since the initiator of the "break" would have been better prepared for ending the relationship, it would not have affected him at all.
ReplyDeleteInternet, like fire, can be friend or foe. I agree with your comments and conclusion that it really is up to the user to decide how to use it. My concern is that so much fantasy is woven into reality on the Internet that sometimes it is difficult separating the two. Already teens are grappling with their identity issue and using the Internet indiscriminately may result in further confusion. In time to come we shall have to see if the mental health of society at large would be affected by this.
ReplyDeleteIn my opinion, such a teenager wasn't brought up well if he cannot separate fantasy from reality. There is a time to live in cyberspace and there is a time to live for real. If anything, i would caution every teenager to approach cyberspace with a critical mind. Never believe what the other person says about himself if he is a stranger you met online. I am perfectly fine with using cyberspace to catch up with friends through online conversation and to strengthen existing relationships though.
ReplyDeleteSo long as parents keep teaching their children the right thing, and keep a good relationship with their kids, the children would not be sucked up and suckered into online relationships with strangers.
I like what you said about relationships becoming "disposable". Nowadays, we are given so many disposable things. From disposable cutlery to disposable babies in the form of abortion. Even marriage is disposable thanks to the ease of divorcing, so why not online relationships? It is easier to say "lets not see each other again" over the internet or change a facebook status back to "single" than to break such news to the other party in person.
ReplyDeleteinternet is something plays a major role in our lives. who can say it doesnt right. i mean we not only use the internet to get stuff we want but also to make friends or even go into a relationship. there are certain people who think they are only able to show their true selves online whereas not in reality. But, they do not even try to communicaite the same way face to face like they do via the internet. Alot of us till now believe that we can find our "soulmate" through the internet more easily. but who are we to say they cannot. how can we just assume that the person on the other end is wrong?
ReplyDeletethus, the same question comes to my mind "are you wise enough?"